Be deliberate

Throughout my life, I've had an aversion to deliberate action and planning. Studying should not be undertaken, because it was too deliberate. Learning should be coincedental and studying should be unnecessary. Humility and courtesy should be thoughtless. Generous and kind deeds were not done without fear of appearing to expect approval or reciprocation. Friendships (if any) were underappreciated and not deliberately made (that started to change after governor's school, but it was kinda late). Wow, what a bad philosophy. I'm currently taking a blogging break, because it's taking me an absurd amount of time to complete an assignment for my African politics class.

What's the result of this, you shouldn't have to try philosophy? Absent-mindedness, indecisiveness, under-socialization, no systematic reasoning, no critical thinking, and no study habits and pathological procrastination results. If it's not as bad as I make it sound, it wasn't to my credit. Thanks to everyone's who's saved my butt, everyone who's reached out to me, people who bear with my strangeness. Several keywords I hope to keep in mind are to be SYSTEM, ENGAGEMENT, REASON, PLANNING, CONCENTRATION.

I belong in a cult

So as we're working on our Operating Systems project, I repeatedly have myself proven wrong by believing/assuming things without substantiating them with evidence. First, I confuse ppid and uid (they're actually totally different values), and then assume that processes are displayed in order of CPU usage, even when they show zero usage down the line (they're actually displayed in order of PID). The sad thing is that I was so adamant about them.

The last point was about what does or doesn't invoke the scheduler, which prompted Mike, who usually won arguments to ask me whether or not I had ever participated in a cult. Well, not really, unless you consider the Catholic Church a cult. Even there, I regret that I'm not too faithful. Kinda like the time I was adamant about the spelling of definitely and insisting that it was spelled definately.

I think what's symptomatic here is me jumping to conclusions without thinking things through, and then stubbornly refusing to budge. The up-side is that I usually admit that I'm wrong, but that happens way too often. The lesson is that I should think things through and justify to myself logically my decisions and actions.